


I'll Walk You Home

by phoenixyfriend



Series: Blame Tumblr Prompts [7]
Category: Runaways (Comics), Young Avengers
Genre: F/M, Foster Care, Genderfluid Character, Hallucinations, Mental Breakdown, Mental Health Issues, Nightmares, Other, Other than Kate Noh Loki and Sif, Serious Injuries, Trans Female Character, mentions of child abuse, mentions of child death, mentions of medical experimentation, most characters only show up for one scene
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-09
Updated: 2015-07-09
Packaged: 2018-04-08 12:12:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,013
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4304553
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/phoenixyfriend/pseuds/phoenixyfriend
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Written for the tumblr prompt: "Kate Noh and Loki be they are the best fam; 100 Ways to Say I Love You, 'I'll Walk You Home'."<br/>------------------<br/>In which no one has powers, and Kate and Noh are Loki's foster parents.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'll Walk You Home

**Author's Note:**

> A couple warnings:
> 
> I researched the foster system, but I have never been part of it, nor have I known anyone that could tell me more. My apologies if I got anything wrong.
> 
> Loki's mental illnesses are undefined here, partly because the mental health issues are designed to mimic canon events rather than portray any specific mental illness. That said, I would (very hesitantly) label Loki's disorders as PTSD and schizophrenia.
> 
> Given some of the topics covered in this story, I would like to preemptively apologize if anything I've written is accidentally ableist, transphobic, or insensitive to those in the foster system. I've done my best to cover all my bases, but I'm not sure how well I succeeded.
> 
> I also fudged the laws on gun control in NYC a bit, because I couldn't find anything on whether of members of the NYPD (including detectives) can carry weapons while off-duty.

Kate is aware of the fact that she and Noh are… well, young. Twenty-four, to be precise. Too young by most accounts, but they’re past the requisite age according to the law, and that’s enough for her.

The thing is, Kate wants kids. Noh-Varr does, too. They’ve talked about it plenty, and with everything the two of them have gone through in their short lives, they’re together and they can’t imagine that’s going to change any time soon. They’re stuck with one another and happy with it, and they’re more than ready for a kid. Young or not, technically newlywed or not, they’re ready for one.

Just not biologically.

(Noh-Varr’s childhood history of less-than-ethical medical treatments doesn’t cause him any health problems, and has in fact made him much sturdier in some respects, but they’ve either rendered him infertile or come close enough that it doesn’t matter.)

(Kate has her own reasons, of course. Even if she could get pregnant, she wouldn’t. She has a career to build and old traumas to avoid like the plague, after all.)

So they look to foster a child. Well, Kate plans to adopt at first, but Noh waylays her and talks her into looking into fostering instead.

“I don’t want to take in a child while thinking of it as a temporary thing, but if something happens again…” Noh trails off, and Kate understands. She gets it. Their lives are stable now, but they weren’t, once upon a time, and they both feel the threats looming over them, even though most of them barely exist anymore. Those enemies are gone enough for Kate and Noh to consider a child, but paranoia is a stealthy foe. “We don’t want to give a child false hope.”

Kate nods quietly. “I suppose there’s probably a system in place to adopt a kid that’s being fostered if we happen to get attached.”

Noh smiles at her and puts his hand over hers, knowing exactly what she means. “I’m sure there is.”

It takes a while, but they get the paperwork done.

They need to be twenty-one to foster (they’re twenty-two when they start applying). They need to have financial stability (they’ve both got bachelor’s degrees and jobs, and Noh is working on his master’s while Kate works on her career, and Kate has family money as a safety net if she ever really needs one). They need to prove they’ve got a safe, stable home (it’s a cozy little apartment, but everything is up to code, and from the look they get from the person checking everything out, being married is a good thing). They need to have clean histories in more ways than one (and they do, since all the records of what Noh got up to were sealed when he turned eighteen). They need to be checked out by a doctor (fine). They need to take some classes (they do).

They pass their applications and talk to the right people, and they get a kid.

o.o.o.o.o

Loki is older than Kate would have expected her first child to be (even if he isn’t technically hers), back when she was just a little girl herself. He’s closer in age to a potential younger sibling than a kid, but she doesn’t mind.

He’s also what she thinks many people would call ‘disturbed.’

“He had a rough home life when he was very young.” Ms. Gaea, from the Department of Child Services, tells them. “And he recently lost his adoptive parents. He has a brother, but said brother went into the military and got hit by a shell, and is currently in a coma. He has a history of mental illnesses and there will be a number of symptoms showing up, along with unrelated quirks. He’s gone through a few foster families that thought they could handle his issues, but none of them were prepared for taking care of a child with this many problems.”

Kate and Noh look at each other, and then turn back to the social worker. Kate takes the lead. “We can do this. We’ve both got history of various sorts with similar situations. If nothing else, we can relate, which ought to help a lot.”

Ms. Gaea nods slowly, clearly doubtful but willing to give them a chance. “In that case, I can arrange for you to meet him tomorrow.“

“We’ll be ready.” Kate promises.

o.o.o.o.o

Loki’s a short, quiet kid. He doesn’t talk much when they meet him, and he stays quiet once they’re in the car. He’s wearing a white hoodie over jeans and a black and green shirt, and they at least all look to be in good repair.

He just stares at his lap the whole time.

Kate looks away from the road long enough to exchange glances with Noh-Varr, and then looks forward again, letting Noh take the lead on this one.

“So we have a room set up for you already.” Noh starts talking, filling up the silence with relevant information so that it doesn’t sound like he’s just talking so that the quiet doesn’t suffocate them. “It’s not huge, but you and your things should fit inside with room to spare, and you can put posters on the walls or decorations on the shelves if you want to.”

Loki looks up at Noh and, after a second’s deliberation, nods in acknowledgement.

There are several seconds of silence, and then Loki quietly asks, “Will there be a shelf to put books on?”

His accent is a strange one, but it’s slight, and he doesn’t have trouble making himself understood, which is important.

(It looks like Kate’s going to be the only one in the apartment with an American accent. She finds that a little funny.)

“There will be a few, but if there isn’t enough room, we’ll figure something out.” Noh promises. “There’s a desk, too, but it’s small, so you’ll need to use the kitchen for any large projects.”

Loki nods again, staring out the window.

Noh looks over at Kate, then soldiers on. “I know you aren’t switching schools, so what classes are you taking?”

“We might be able to help you out when you’re studying, depending on what it is.” Kate adds in, hoping to prompt something from the young teen.

“I am taking standard classes.“ Loki says, “And a politics and creative writing class.“

“I can help with the politics.” Kate offers; she’d double majored in criminalistics and political science in college, and she certainly hadn’t forgotten any of it. “What about your science courses?”

“Biology.”

“Math course?”

“Algebra II.”

Kate nods to herself. “I’m not really going to be much help with those. Noh?”

“I can help with the mathematics, certainly. The biology… we’ll see. My science is geared more towards physics.”

Loki looks between them suspiciously for a moment. “What do you do? For work?”

“Well, I’m currently doing police detective work and working on some language proficiency so that I can apply to the FBI in a few years. I’m considering going back to school and getting a graduate degree too, honestly, but that’s a bit further down the road.“ Kate explains.

“I’m employed at Stark Labs as an engineer and working on my doctorate.” Noh continues, smiling. “I’m pretty sure Stark can’t decide if he hates me or not.”

“He doesn’t.” Kate assures him. “He’s just annoyed when you give him plans that only make sense while you’re there to explain them.”

“This is true.” Noh grins at her.

Loki doesn’t offer up any more questions or information for the rest of the ride, only answering questions when asked, usually in only one or two words.

It’s enough, probably.

o.o.o.o.o

Kate is witness to the symptoms of Loki’s mental illnesses the very first night, when screams tear through the air less than an hour after she’s finally gone to bed. She jumps out of bed faster than Noh does, but they get to Loki’s door at the same time.

They look at each other for a second, and then nod sharply.

“I’ll get some tea and hot chocolate.” Noh runs off.

Kate opens the door slowly and darts over to Loki’s bed.

He’s sweating heavily and moaning, sheets twisted tightly around his torso. Kate doesn’t put a hand on his shoulder like she would for Noh, but she does start softly calling his name and pulling the covers back as much as possible without touching Loki directly.

He doesn’t wake up, and is too twisted up in the sheets for her to get them any further off without moving him directly, so she gives up. She puts a hand on his shoulder and shakes gently, continuing to quietly call his name.

“Loki? Loki, kiddo, c’mon, wake up.”

When he does wake up, it’s with a start. He scrambles away from her like a crab, and stares at her through unseeing eyes.

Kate takes a step back and holds her hands up to show that she’s not a threat. “How ya doing?”

Loki’s breath takes a bit of time to slow down, but Kate’s willing to wait. It takes slightly less time for him to recognize her, and he relaxes just slightly when he does. He ends up curling up at the head of the bed, hugging his pillow. “I am… fine.”

Kate raises an eyebrow, a very definite sign that she doesn’t believe him, but pulls out the chair from his desk and takes a seat, and says, “Okay.”

Loki stares at her in disbelief.

There’s a knocking sound from the door and Kate stands back up to go and open it. Noh is standing on the other side with one of the kitchen trays, three mugs of hot chocolate on top. He gives her a quick grin and then slips past, taking her chair.

“My seat,” Kate mutters, though she doesn’t mind that much. She just sits down at the foot of Loki’s bed instead, taking one of the hot chocolates and watching as Noh gives one to Loki, who seems… well, hesitant, but accepts it anyway.

The boys don’t talk, so Kate doesn’t either, and they all just drink the hot chocolate instead. Eventually, Loki breaks the silence.

“I actually prefer tea.”

He sounds embarrassed, probably thinks he sounds ungrateful, but Kate is glad to see Noh take it in stride. “What kind?”

“Er… depends on the situation. Linden is nice?” He bites his lip. “Mother used to make black tea in the morning, though.”

“I think we have some of that. If you want that with breakfast, it wouldn’t be too much effort to make.” Kate offers. Technically, the one usually cooking breakfast is Noh, but she does the drinks. She can do coffee, even if she can’t do eggs.

“Thank you.” Loki says, not looking at her.

Kate exchanges a look with Noh and shrugs. “Okay, kid, you have school tomorrow. You really should to try to go back to sleep.”

A scared look flits over Loki’s face, and Kate would try to let him stay up if it were a weekend, but… well. School really is important.

“I’ll tuck you in.” She offers as Noh collects the mugs, the ceramics clinking against each other. “We can skip brushing your teeth this once.”

Loki makes a face, and Kate laughs. “Would you rather brush them now instead?”

“…Yes.” Loki admits, and Kate more than suspects that he’s just trying to put off going to sleep for a bit instead of actually that interested in oral hygiene, but she lets him get up and run off to the bathroom anyway.

When she finally gets back to her own bedroom and lies down next to Noh, pulling his arm across her, she has trouble enough of her own falling asleep.

She’s picked up on a lot of information tonight. There isn’t much of it that she likes.

o.o.o.o.o

They’re careful around Loki. It’s not that Loki’s delicate; he’s remarkably sarcastic once he comes out of his shell, and frequently complains about his teachers or other authority figures, which Kate and Noh maybe shouldn’t be encouraging, but they do.

But they need to be careful. They need to pretend not to notice Loki’s quiet mumbling when they pass his room, the quiet “You aren’t real, you bastard,” and “it’s my fault she’s dead, all my fault,” and “go away, I don’t want you here”s that can be heard from the hallway. They need to comfort him when he does the same in front of them, assure him that they don’t begrudge him for his problems, and in a few slight cases, relate their own… histories. They drive him to therapy sessions, to the graveyard to visit Odin and Freyja (he’s quiet in front of their graves, and later confesses to mixed feelings on his adoptive parents, which is better than the bitter hatred towards Laufey and Farbauti, at least), to the hospital to visit Thor.

They do what they can, basically. Ms. Gaea wasn’t lying when she told them that Loki needed a special kind of care, but they’d lived too much of their own lives dealing with their own traumas to consider Loki’s too large to handle. They try their best, and hope it’s enough.

(It’s bittersweet to hear from Ms. Gaea that they’ve lasted longer than the other foster parents Loki’s had. It’s not a very difficult bar to pass.)

o.o.o.o.o

Kate and Noh settle into parenthood fairly well. Loki is somewhat self-sufficient, so it’s fine that they’re still learning instead of jumping in headfirst with an infant or toddler. That said, there are still some… occasional curveballs.

Noh gets the call in the middle of a class. He was recruited by Stark industries back before he’d even gotten his bachelor’s, and they’re the ones now paying for his master’s. That does, however, mean that he still needs to go to class, even if he is working for one of the biggest tech companies on the planet.

He recognizes the number. It’s Eli Bradley, one of Kate’s fellow detectives and her most frequent partner on the job. He quickly excuses himself from the room and pulls the phone up to his ear. “Hello?”

“Noh-Varr?” Eli’s voice is clipped, but that isn’t really surprising. “I’ve got some bad news.”

Noh’s blood runs cold at that. Given how it is that he knows Eli, as Kate’s partner on field duty, that could mean a number of very, very bad things. “What happened?”

“Kate’s been shot. Shoulder wound and the paramedics got there pretty quickly, so she’s going to be okay, but she’s at the hospital and she asked me to let you know.” Eli explains, which is… well, it’s better than Noh expected.

“I’ll need to pick up Loki, but I’ll be there as soon as possible.” Noh promises. He goes back into the classroom and quietly informs Dr. McCoy of what’s happened, and is excused for the rest of the class. Noh promises to coordinate a make-up session, and quickly takes his leave.

He drives to Loki’s school. His car is a pretty nice one, even if the coloration is a bit gaudy, and he gets to Loki’s school in record time. Signing the kid out early is a bit complicated, since the office lady doesn’t believe that he’s actually Loki’s foster dad, but it works out eventually.

“Is Kate going to be okay?” Loki asks once they’re in the car. He’s visibly trying to seem detached, but there’s a tremor in his voice.

“She should be.” Noh assures him. “The shot was non-vital and the medics got to her early enough to make sure there weren’t any major complications. She might have a bit of trouble shooting for a bit, but I’m sure she’ll work through that.”

“Okay.”

They meet Eli at the doors to the hospital, and while Eli raises an eyebrow at Loki’s presence, he doesn’t say anything. He and Noh make small talk until they get to Kate’s room, where the woman in question is lying in bed and looking mightily pissed off.

“Noh, sweetie, I might murder someone if I’m not given something to do.” She informs him.

“No, you won’t.” He pats her good arm. “Too much paperwork.”

“This is true.” Kate admits. “Hey Loki. Hope you’re not too worried about me.”

“Noh said you would be okay.” Loki shrugs, looking slightly uncomfortable. “And I got to leave school early.”

“That’s usually something to be happy about,” Kate agrees. “I’m pretty sure I could leave now and be fine, but the doctors are making me stay a few days to make sure I’m okay.”

A dark look crosses Loki’s face for a second, almost too quick to catch, but Noh’s always been good at reading faces. A glance at Kate reveals that she noticed as well, but neither one comments.

“Kate?” There’s a knock at the door. Eli, again. “Captain Rogers is here. He wants to get your statement regarding what happened.”

Kate rolls her eyes. “Yeah, okay.”

“Should we go?” Noh asks, trying to avoid the awkwardness of having to deal with Captain Rogers. Again.

Last time didn’t exactly go well.

“Probably a good idea.” Kate smiles tightly at him. “This the same hospital as Thor’s in, so you can see about visiting him if you want?”

The way Loki’s face lights up at the suggestion is… Noh feels sad just looking at him. “That doesn’t sound like a bad idea. Come along, Loki.”

Loki makes a face at the admittedly rather condescending way Noh says it, but he slings his bag over his shoulder and does as asked.

The private room isn’t just Thor and the odd nurse when they get there. There’s a strange woman about Thor’s age, a couple years older than Noh himself, sitting next to the bed, holding Thor’s hand in her own. She’s dressed in army fatigues, with long black hair and visible musculature, along with a healthy tan.

“Sif!” Loki exclaims, and Noh might not have any idea who the woman is, but Loki clearly does. The woman jumps a little, clearly startled, but there’s a gleam in her eyes when she looks up, and she relaxes when she sees them.

“Loki.” The woman says, moving to stand up, but thinking better of it and staying where she is. “It has been a while.”

Sif’s accent is similar to Loki’s, if quite a bit less prominent, and Noh assumes that they’re probably speaking English for his sake.

(He’s been working on learning Norwegian, but he isn’t all that good yet.)

“Mm-hm.” Loki looks uncomfortable. “I… didn’t know you came to visit Thor.”

“I rarely get the time to do so, but I come when I can.” Sif nods at Noh-Varr. “And this man is…?”

“That’s Noh-Varr. He’s my… foster father.” Loki makes a face, as he always does when putting Noh and Kate in positions of parenthood. It’s mostly due to the relatively small difference in age between them, and the fact that Loki hasn’t quite finished grieving for Odin and Freyja.

“Rather young, aren’t you?” Sif raises an eyebrow in his direction.

“Perhaps, but I don’t think we’ve been doing that badly.” Noh smiles blandly at her.

“Hmph.” Sif turns back to Loki and, in a clear disregard for Noh, begins speaking with him in rapid Norwegian. It isn’t long before Loki makes a dismayed noise and Noh decides to intervene.

“Is something wrong?” he asks.

“She’s… she is the one that makes the, ah, decisions to…” Loki trails off, losing his grasp on the language he needs to explain the problem.

“I am currently the one that is responsible for Thor’s medical decisions, until such a time that he can make them on his own once more.” Sif explains. “Of his surviving relatives, Loki is too young, and Cul is currently in federal prison in Norway.”

“In that case, shouldn’t the state be in charge of his medical decisions?” Noh crosses his arms and leans against the wall.

“We were engaged.” Sif states bluntly. “And since we were in the Air Force together, we both knew things could go badly wrong and signed some papers to say that we handed our medical rights over to one another if we couldn’t make the decisions ourselves and no one with prior claim could be contacted.”

Noh nods slowly. It makes sense, actually. It’s easy to understand why Loki might be upset, but it does make sense. It even explains why she has some say in Thor’s fate, but doesn’t have the option of taking in Loki, especially since it seems like she hasn’t retired from the military yet.

Sif seems to understand that whatever she’s saying is making Loki uncomfortable. She lets go of Thor’s hand and stands up, and motions to the door. “Mr. Varr, if I could speak with you in the hall?”

“Ah, sure. Loki, you can stay here and talk to your brother.” Noh tries to phrase it so that it doesn’t sound like an order of sorts, but he’s not sure how well he succeeds. Before he closes the door, though, he hears Loki talking quietly, telling Thor about the past few days.

Sif doesn’t seem any softer outside the room, but she’s different. She cuts right to the chase, though. “How is he?”

“Loki? He’s…” Noh trails off, thinking it over, wondering how he can tell the woman without telling her something Loki wouldn’t want spread around. “…doing as well as can be expected.”

Sif nods slowly. “The voices?”

So she knows. Noh purses his lips. “I don’t really think that’s something I should be telling you.”

Sif raises an eyebrow, but doesn’t press the issue. “I’ve known Loki since he was but a few years old. I may not always seem like I care, particularly not to Loki, but I would like to keep in touch with you if possible. I wasn’t given access to your contact information by any of the officials that took care of Loki, so I would like to have some way of making sure the child is alright in the future.”

“I can give you my cell phone number, and my wife can send you hers later.” Noh pulls out his own phone. “Here, add your number. E-mail as well?”

Sif nods. “I won’t ask for Loki’s information. I suspect he’d be rather angry if I had the ability to contact him and he hadn’t chosen to give me that ability himself.”

“I suspect the same.” Noh quickly types his number in, making sure to add his and Kate’s joint e-mail instead of his work or school address. “Is there anything else you’d like to know?”

“I… have access to Odin and Freyja’s old house. It’s being regularly cleaned and such, but is uninhabited. I would be unsurprised to find that some of Loki’s possessions were still there.” Sif looks a little uncomfortable. “If possible, I would like to bring some of the pieces that I recall him having a particular fondness for.”

Noh nods. “I’ll see what can be arranged.”

o.o.o.o.o

Kate goes back to work pretty soon afterwards, but she’s stuck on desk duty for a long time. Sometimes, though, she manages to get everything finished early and gets to go home. There’s a period of time, about twice a week, where Loki’s alone at home for a few hours because Kate and Noh’s schedules overlap in such a way that even staying late for extracurricular activities doesn’t keep Loki at school long enough for him to get home after they do.

That said, Loki’s good at taking care of himself and old enough to do so for that long without there being anything suspect, and Kate and Noh both figure that showing him they trust him enough to leave him alone in the house for a few hours a week will probably have only positive effects. They haven’t come home to find the house on fire or the wine cabinet raided (though it is under lock and key), so they figure it’s working.

Kate comes home to pounding music, but that’s not particularly worrying. She calls Loki’s name once she gets into the apartment, but there’s no answer. Rolling her eyes, she checks the kitchen, living room, and Loki’s room in turn. She’s about the check the bathroom, but it catches up to her that the music seems to be coming from her and Noh’s room.

The sight she finds when she opens the door is that of Loki in one of her sundresses, the flowy white one with the purple embroidery that she’d gotten from Susan last year. On Loki, it falls a couple inches past the knees, and that’s with the straps tied up to keep it modest. There are even clips in Loki’s hair, holding back the longer bangs so they don’t fall into Loki’s eyes, and some poorly-applied make-up (not that Kate was any better at that age). Loki’s staring into a mirror, which is just far enough that Kate’s invisible from that angle, and looks torn between fear and happiness in what little Kate can see in terms of expression. Kate leans against the door frame and crosses her arms, a small smile playing across her face.

“You know,” she says, and Loki freezes up, turning around with a face that can only show horror, “I can probably dig up some of my old dresses that might fit you better. That one’s a bit big.”

Loki’s mouth snaps shut. Then open again. Then shut, and finally, “What?”

“The sundress. You’ll want something in a smaller size, really. You’re practically swimming in it.” Kate pushes herself away from the doorframe and walks over to her closet, putting as much effort as possible into acting casual. “Most of my old dresses from when I was your age are back at my dad’s place, or donated to charity, but…”

She turns away from the closet, holding out an oversized green button-down. It comes down just barely far enough to hide her underwear when Kate wears it, but on Loki it’ll come down to a few inches above the knees, if Kate’s estimating correctly. “Put this on and cinch it down with a nice belt, and it should do the trick. Not exactly a sundress, but it’s close enough if you pair it up with some leggings.”

Loki takes the clothes and stares at them, then back up at Kate. “…what?”

Kate smiles. “I’ll be out in the hall while you change.”

Kate’s lying. Instead of staying in the hall, she goes to the living room and digs through some of the shelves. Somewhere between her third failed scrapbooking attempt and Noh’s fourth journal about music he likes (he writes it down instead of talking to her, on the days he can see she’s too tired to really listen), she finds the old album. Flipping through quickly to make sure it’s the right one, she quickly rights herself and goes back to the spot outside her door. She knocks.

“Loki?”

“I’m done.” Loki’s reply is quiet, but still audible, and Kate goes in.

She grins at Loki. “You look cute! But… hm, give me a sec.”

Kate grabs a hairbrush and a barrette, and parts Loki’s bangs to one side, clipping them up in a way that frames Loki’s face nicely instead of letting the bangs fall down straight. She grabs one of the little make-up removing towelettes she usually uses, and wipes off the make-up from Loki’s face.

“Hold still.” She instructs, and carefully outlines Loki’s eyes with some liquid liner, and then follows up with some more light make-up. Kate pulls Loki up from the bed and sets her in front of the floor-length mirror. “So, what do you think?”

Loki stares at the mirror, seemingly lost for words.

“Loki?”

“I… I like it.” Loki’s hands reach up to fiddle with some flyaway hairs. “But… why?”

“Why am I helping you instead of freaking out like I’m assuming your last foster parents might have?” Kate sits down on the bed and pats the seat next to her. “Sit down. I want to show you something.”

Loki looks unsure, but does as suggested.

“This,” Kate taps the cover of the album, “is full of pictures from when I was a kid. Some stuff from when I was your age, but more than just that. There’s stuff from when I was born to when I graduated, all in chronological order.”

She passes the book to Loki, who just looks at her confusion and slight suspicion. Kate resists the urge to roll her eyes (because Loki probably has good reason to be suspicious) and flips open the cover. “Just look through it. Trust me.”

So Loki does, and Kate catches the moment the confusion sets it. “You’re not a blonde.”

“No, that’s my sister, Susan.” Kate explains, waiting for the inevitable.

“So is that your brother?” Loki points to the kid in the gender-normative blue onesie with a truck on it.

“Nope. That’s me.” Kate waits for the answer to set in, but prevents any further questioning. “Keep flipping.”

So Loki does, watching as Kate grows up in photo form, with some of the pictures even being subtitled with things like “Matt’s sixth birthday party,” only for the ‘Matt’ to be scratched out with glittery purple pen and replaced with ‘KATE,’ all caps.

Around thirteen, a drastic change hits, with Kate’s hair growing longer and her clothes starting to look the way she wants them to, rather than the way she’s been told to all her life.

“Your parents let you?” Loki asks, in a hushed whisper.

“My mom supported me.” Kate says, voice quiet. “And Dad… I don’t think he really knew what to think, but I came out shortly before my mom was diagnosed with cancer, and before she died she basically told him to get his head out of his ass and make sure I was happy, but in prettier words. So… whatever he thought, the end result was that he at least tried to understand. Let me get puberty blockers and lobbied with the school to let me wear the girls’ uniform and… well, they wouldn’t let me change with the other girls, but I got to do it in the bathrooms instead of in the boys’ locker room, so there was that. When I got older, he paid for the surgeries I asked for and deflected the media, so that was nice.”

Kate laughs a bit. “He actually got a lot of positive support from some of the LGBTQ-etc. community for being of the earliest major companies to openly endorse trans rights, even if we were pretty quiet about it at first; you know, just covered trans ops and stuff like that in the health insurance and made sure there were anti-discrimination policies in place. We got a lot of business from the community too, when we started publishing more diverse literature.”

“That seems really…” Loki struggles for words, “over-the-top. Unrealistic.”

“Dad doesn’t like it when I call him a hypocrite, and Bishop Publishing isn’t a publicly traded company, so he didn’t have to worry about stockholders complaining. So long as I could properly argue my case, he agreed.” Kate shrugs. “Most of it was just expanding health coverage, instituting policies against discrimination, and slipping some trans-positive literature into the rest of what we were selling that year. It barely affected sales, especially since I asked him to make sure my transition didn’t make it into the paper, so it didn’t get in the way of what he needed to worry about for the company, and it didn’t get in the way of what he needed to worry about for me.”

Loki looks back down at the photos and turned a few more pages, making it all the way through to see Kate’s senior prom.

“I…” Loki pauses, then starts again. “I don’t think I’m a boy. Not all the time. But I’m not always a girl either. And sometimes, I don’t feel like I’m either one. And I don’t think I want any surgery.”

“You don’t need surgeries unless you want them. I got what I could because I wanted to, but not everyone wants them. Doesn’t make you any less of what you are. I could loan you a few books so you can figure out what you’re feeling, but I could also give you a few suggestions about what I think might be closest, if you want.” Kate offers.

“It’s not… weird?” Loki asks, blinking up at her.

“Not in the slightest.” Kate promises. “Sounds like a friend of mine, actually. Well, more like a friend of Noh’s, but we hang out sometimes.”

“Really?”

“Absolutely. They’re actually their wife’s bodyguard most of the time, and the wife is a Hollywood actress, so both of them are on the other side of the country right now, but… hm…” Kate tapped her chin. “They do visit the city sometimes to see Nico and Molly and Gert and Chase, but I’m not sure if…”

“Kate?” Loki asked after several seconds of silence.

“Quick question: do you want more dresses? And other clothes that people usually consider feminine?”

Loki blinked. “Yes?”

“What style?”

“I…” Loki flounders for a few seconds, and then blushes, presumably out of embarrassment. “I, ah, I like goth clothes? And, like… leather stuff that looks like it might’ve come out of a video game.”

Kate furrows her eyebrows. “The second one is oddly specific, but the first… yeah, she can do that. I have a friend that does custom-made gothic clothing on commission, and since she lives in the city these days, we can visit and see what she can do. That sound good?”

“Mm-hm!” Loki nods emphatically.

“And you can just… tell me what pronouns you want when they change. Or during breakfast. Whatever works.”

“Okay.” Loki looks as though the thought hadn’t cropped up earlier. That makes sense, and Kate won’t be surprised if the pronoun issue takes a while to get figured out.

“And you’re grounded.”

“Wait, what?” Loki seems thrown by the sudden change. Good.

Kate crosses her arms and raises an eyebrow. “One of the ground rules that I set when you first moved in was that you wouldn’t touch or go through any of my or Noh’s things, especially when we weren’t home.”

Loki’s jaw snaps shut.

“Loki, there is dangerous stuff in here.” Kate tries to explain, because making sure the kid knows what was wrong is key to making sure the punishment doesn’t feel unfair or like it’s being applied to something else. “I’ll let you borrow my clothes if you need to feel comfortable, but you need to ask before you go through things. I do keep my guns locked up, but some of the stuff in here is personal, too. Plus, it’s just… really rude to go through someone’s things like that.”

Loki’s face turns mulish, but the only word that comes out is, “Fine.”

Kate smiles. “Great.”

o.o.o.o.o

Noh-Varr pokes his head out of the small room he calls his music studio. There’s a surprising number of instruments in there, considering the small space, but what’s more surprising, at least at the moment, is the fact that he can hear the home phone from inside.

“Hello?” He cradles the phone between his shoulder and ear, continuing to tune up the guitar in his hands.

“Noh-Varr?”

“Mr. Lang!” Noh-Varr knows that voice. He hears it at work whenever he has to deal with the security team, but it’s really more relevant that he’s known Mr. Lang since before they ever met at work.

“I told you, call me Scott.” The man sounds harried. “Listen, I’m needed at Stark’s charity ball tonight for some reason and the baby-sitter cancelled. Do you think you or Kate could spare a few hours to look after Cassie?”

Noh-Varr mentally runs through his schedule for the day. “I don’t know about Kate, but I should be free, yes. Loki will be here as well; Cassie’s only a year older than them.”

“Great, great. I’ll drop her off around five?”

“That sounds fine.”

As it turns out, Kate won’t be available that afternoon, but she wishes them the best. Noh-Varr tells Loki what’s going on, and while Loki makes a face (he isn’t very good with kids his own age), he doesn’t complain about the fact that some girl he’s never met is coming by.

Cassie’s tall for her age, fourteen years old and already a gangly five-foot seven. Her hair is tied back when she shows up in a red hoodie and black jeans, and she hugs Noh with a grin. “Hey, Noh! Where’s Kate?”

“She had to work late, sorry.” Noh steps back to let Cassie into the apartment and closes the door behind her. “Shoes off, please.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Cassie toes her shoes off and looks around. “I heard you got a kid that’s about my age?”

“Loki, yes. I think he’s still in his room.” Noh doesn’t offer to go fetch him; if Loki wanted to come see Cassie, he’d come himself. “Your dad mentioned you’ve been practicing?”

“Uh-huh!” Cassie drops her bag on the ground and starts bouncing on her toes. “I mean, I’m still not any good, but I’m working on it.”

“Let’s see how much you’ve improved, then.” Noh says, and goes into the music room, gesturing for Cassie to take a seat at the drums.

A couple hours later, when Noh is cooking dinner, he comes to several conclusions.

One, Cassie is rather bad at the drums, but really likes smashing around on them.

Two, Loki hasn’t left his room in several hours. This is worrying.

Three, this sauce looks like it’s going to be delicious.

“Loki! Cassie! Dinner’s ready!” He calls, just as the pasta finishes cooking. Cassie sweeps her homework off the desk, while a door further back in the apartment closes audibly.

“Angel hair pasta with alfredo sauce.” Noh declares as he brings the food out of the kitchen and over to the table. Cassie’s fiddling with her fork and Loki just barely slides into his seat before the food reaches the table. “Bon appetít.”

He watches the kids help themselves to the food before he takes some of his own, and then gestures between the two. “Introduce yourselves.”

Loki sends him a betrayed look, but Noh just stares back, utterly deadpan. “Go. Talk.”

Cassie and Loki are massively different. They’re only a year apart in terms of age, but their interests don’t intersect at all, and Cassie’s outgoing nature conflicts sharply with Loki’s suspicious withdrawal.

They don’t talk much before Cassie’s dad knocks on the door and picks her up, leaving Noh and Loki alone.

“I liked her.” Loki says, throwing Noh off his game. “But she’s very loud.”

“I see.” Noh doesn’t. That wasn’t the vibe he got at all, but apparently, that was what had happened. “Would you enjoy seeing her again, then?”

“I think so.”

Noh stares after Loki as the younger boy leaves, still confused.

o.o.o.o.o

Kate opens the door to the shop, and the bell overhead rings quietly. She slips in, with Loki right behind her.

“Welcome to The Staff of One, New York’s premier metaphysical shop. How can I help you?” The woman at the counter doesn’t even look up from her book.

“You can help me by at least looking me in the eye when you greet me.” Kate says, grinning.

Nico looks up, and then hops over the counter to hug Kate. “Kate! It’s been a while.”

“Yeah, I know.” Kate pats Nico’s back and pulls away. “We should get coffee sometime.”

“I have a machine in the back.” Nico offers, “So we can drink something once we’re done here.”

“Sounds good.” Kate turned and motioned at Loki to move further forward. “This is Loki, my foster kid. The commissions are for her.”

“Nice to meet you, kid.” Nico stows her book under the register and shouts over her shoulder. “Molly! I need you to watch the store for a bit!”

“But the episode’s almost over!”

“You can bring the computer up here!” Nico shakes her head and slips out from behind the counter. “She’ll be fine. Follow me; clothing commissions are done in the back.”

Kate pulls her bag off her shoulder and holds it in her hand, ready to hang it up on the hook just inside the door to the back room. She gives a small wave to the deceptively small girl that comes through the door on her way through. “Hey Molly.”

“Hi Kate.” The little girl pouts, prompting Kate to stall for a few seconds to talk to her. “I guess I don’t mind that I have to move if you’re here.”

“That’s very kind of you.” Kate tells her, projecting nothing but solemnity.

“Do you know if Tommy’s gonna visit soon?” Molly perks up a bit, and the ears on her hat flop up as she bounces in place a bit.

“I’ll give him a call and tell him you’re waiting on him.” Kate promises. “Gotta get to the back room now, though. See ya, Molls.”

“See ya.” Molly droops a bit, and goes back to her computer, the tinny sounds of some battle or other filling the small shop.

“C’mon, Loki.” Kate motions for Loki to follow her, only to see her flipping through one of the books in the witchcraft section of the store. “Loki!”

Loki starts and drops the book, and sends Kate an accusing look as she picks it back up. “You were taking too long.”

“And now we’re taking even longer,” Kate tells her. “You can look at it later when Nico and I have coffee.”

Loki makes a face at that, though whether it’s at the idea that Kate’s going to be gossiping with Nico or at the thought of coffee, Kate doesn’t know.

The back room is smaller than the front room, and much more cluttered. There’s a table to one side, which Nico uses for her own desk work, and Victor uses when he’s running the numbers for the small shop, and which Molly uses to do her homework and entertain herself after school.

(Kate wasn’t involved with Nico’s circle back when they were all getting themselves settled, but she knows how it all works nowadays.)

The rest of the room has a few small tables, a sewing machine, and lots and lots of fabric. There are sketchbooks and sewing supplies on the other desks, like ribbons and needles and lace. There are four chairs, one at each desk or work table, and Nico’s sitting at the one with all the sketchbooks and papers on it. Kate and Loki took two of the others.

“Okay, preliminary questions,” Nico opens one of the sketchbooks and puts a pen to the paper. “What are you looking for in this? Suits, dresses, skirts, or something else?”

“Skirts and dresses.” Loki says, and Kate lets her take the lead. “Maybe a top? Most of the stuff I can find in bigger stores doesn’t fit my body right.”

“Gotcha. Any stylistic preferences? Most of what I make is off-the-cuff and ends up being a unique piece, which is what I’m going to be doing for you.” Nico taps the sketchbook. “Tell me what you like, or point out elements of other designs on the walls, and I’ll sketch something up and then start draping.”

“Draping?” Loki asks, and Kate has to admit that she’s not quite sure what Nico means either.

“There are two ways of figuring out base measurements. Either I can make a pattern and fit it from there, or I can drape the fabric over you in the way I want it, pin it in place, and then go from there.” Nico taps her pencil against the sketchbook again. “Personally, I find it easier to drape in any situation other than making stuff for myself.”

“Okay.” Loki nods, and then furrows her brow in thought. “Um…”

Kate tunes out a bit as Loki starts talking, haltingly and maybe a bit confused, but continuing whenever Nico prompts her. Nico sketches designs into her book, and Kate would probably be a bit concerned about the pricing if it weren’t for the fact that she has more money than she’ll ever need, and that Nico probably would have offered a discount if she hadn’t. Only a few minutes in, she pulls out her phone and starts going through a case file, trying to get some work done while she waits for the other two to finish. She isn’t really needed, anyway; she just needs to approve at the end, to make sure that the designs aren’t too skimpy or have other elements she can’t properly approve of.

(That, and having her there makes things less complicated for Nico on a legal level.)

When they’re done, and Kate checks over the designs, fully aware of Loki’s worried face next to her, there’s nothing she sees any problem with, so the other two proceed to the actual fabric-related parts while Kate goes back to her work. From what she can tell, there’s rather a lot more green and gold than Nico is used to, but the black and white fabrics are in plentiful supply. As it stands, they would have been coming back at least a few more times for fittings for the other outfits anyway, so it’s not exactly a huge issue.

“Hold still,” Nico orders for the fifth time, and Kate tries to hide her smile. “And remember to keep your arms up. I can’t fit it properly if you don’t.”

Kate’s been one of Nico’s customers before, for when she’s needed dresses for one of her dad’s galas or one of Noh’s work functions. Kate doesn’t really like the idea of spending disgusting amounts of money on something as simple as a dress, and if she can bring some extra business to a friend’s door in the process, so much the better.

After over an hour, Nico’s finished with everything she can do that needs them, and Loki is exhausted and a little irritable. Kate doesn’t blame her; getting fitted with Nico is a nightmare, but there’s no doubting the results.

Nico puts on the coffee and they all gather in the front room again. Molly offers to give Loki a tour of the small shop, and Kate and Nico start… well, they gossip. Quite a bit. It’s been a while since they’ve seen each other, they deserve a bit of a break.

“You’re joking.” Kate nearly chokes on her coffee. “I mean, I knew neither of them were much for tradition, but really?”

Nico nods over her mug, looking more than amused. “Yep. Shotgun wedding, and they still haven’t broken up. I think Gert wants to prove to her parents that she wasn’t making a childish mistake in her choice of boyfriend, and Chase wants to see if they can set a record for the longest-lasting Vegas marriage.”

“And they’re disgustingly in love.” Kate adds, grinning.

“That goes without saying.” Nico snorts.

“Still, I’m almost more surprised that you got back with Victor.” Kate comments, and laughs a little at the way Nico groans. “I mean, don’t get me wrong, you two were good together, but I thought the whole thing with that Irish girl broke you two up for good.”

“Shit happens.” Nico shrugs. “Besides, you and Noh got back together.”

Kate thinks it over for a second. “Different circumstances, but okay. I wish you luck.”

Nico raises an eyebrow. “Gee, thanks.”

“Don’t treat my well-wishes with disdain, Miss Minoru.” Kate lectures snootily. “Recall that I am, indeed, a married woman of high society.”

“Yeah, which is why your day job involves shooting criminals.” Nico sticks out her tongue, which may be childish, but neither of them really care.

“I’ve shot a guy _once_.” Kate throws back her head and complains. “One guy, in the kneecap, because there was a firefight going on and he was trying to hit Eli.”

“That’s still one more person than most of the planet.” Nico points out.

“Oh, shut up.” Kate takes a sip of her coffee; dash of cream and two sugars. “Mm, by the way, Billy wanted to talk to you about maybe doing some of the bridesmaid dresses at his and Teddy’s wedding.”

“How much time do I have?” Nico asks immediately. “And how many people?”

“Er…” Kate runs the numbers through her head as quickly as possible. “One matron of honor, me, plus Lorna and possibly Karolina and Xavin as bridesmaids, and Luna as flower girl. The suits are getting done somewhere else, and I’m not sure whether Xavin’s planning on going in a suit or a dress yet, or if Karolina’s answered about the bridesmaid thing yet. They don’t have a set date yet, but I’m pretty sure they’re planning it for at least three months out.”

“I can maybe do that, but it’s a bit of an accelerated timeline for a wedding, so… I can pull it off, but I may end up adding a bit to the price due to the schedule.” Nico shrugs, and Kate doesn’t add any of her own thoughts on how Billy was planning on asking Nico to be part of the wedding party too.

“Can I be a bridesmaid?” Molly pops up next to her as though from thin air, and Kate nearly has a heart attack.

“Nah, but you’ll get to be a bridesmaid at someone’s wedding someday.” Kate assures her. It’s true, too; Kate knows for a fact that Tommy’s probably going to ask Molly to either be a bridesmaid or the ringbearer whenever he and David finally get hitched. Kate honestly expected those two to go the Vegas route like Gert and Chase, but Tommy’s been talking to her about this sort of thing more and more recently, so she’s pretty sure there’s going to be an actual, planned wedding at some point.

Molly pouts, but then turns to Nico and tugs on her sleeve. “Nico, Loki wants to know more about the magic books and I don’t know that much about them.”

“Really, now.” Nico puts her coffee on the table and goes over to Loki, who is indeed paging through one of the beginner’s witchcraft novels. Kate shrugs to herself and figures that Loki’s going to be getting a couple books by the end of the day too. Whatever.

She was plenty spoiled as a kid and _she_ turned out fine. Mostly.

“I like Loki,” Molly declares, sitting on Nico’s chair and swinging her legs back and forth. “She’s weird, but she’s kind of fun. And besides, I like weird.”

“Is that so?” Kate tilts her head. “Weird how?”

“She says there’s a bird following her. But like, a dead bird that’s part of her soul or something, and it’s supposed to be inside a toy? I don’t really get it, but whatever.” Molly looks at Kate’s coffee cup. “Does that taste good?”

“Honestly? Not always.” Kate confesses, filing the Loki-related information away in the back of her head. “This one’s pretty good, but that’s because I’m an adult. I hated coffee when I was a kid.”

“I don’t want to grow up.”

“No one really does, Molly. No one.”

o.o.o.o.o

“Okay, Carol, thank you. No, it’s fine, we’ll take care of it.” Noh puts the phone down and turns to Kate, who only just came into the room, half made-up and not quite read to go. “David’s got the flu and has to cancel.”

“Billy and Teddy?”

“Out of town.”

“Runaways?”

“Same.”

“Tommy?”

“Taking care of David.”

“The Langs?”

“They’re going to be there.”

“Um…” Kate seems to be thinking it over while she struggles to put an oddly shaped earring where it’s supposed to be.

“Everyone else is either an unknown to Loki or unavailable.” Noh cuts her off before she spends too much time on it. “Your sister, Carol, Jess, everyone.”

“Even Clint?”

“I… don’t exactly think your archery coach is the kind of person that babysits.” Noh tries to put it delicately, which is a bit unnecessary, since Kate just shrugs.

“Fair enough.”

Loki chooses that moment to chime in. “I could stay home alone?”

“No.” Noh and Kate answer simultaneously.

“But you let me stay alone all the time!” Loki protests.

“Yes, during the day.” Noh explains. “Not going to let you stay home alone at night.”

Loki glares for a few seconds, and then seems to… not quite deflate, but as though an idea just entered his head and he’s not too sure if it’s something that Noh and Kate will approve of.

“Sif’s in town for the weekend.” Loki offers up the information in a clear request; he wants to see the woman that he practically grew up with again.

(Noh got that story pretty early on; Sif and Thor’s families moved from Norway to the States at almost the same time, just after Loki had been adopted. Sif and Thor had known each other since the age of eight, and were both a good ten years older than Loki, but their families, along with several others, all stayed in contact after moving across the ocean. Sif and Thor joined the Air Force Academy together, graduated together, and shipped out together.)

(Then Thor got hit with a shell during something Sif refuses to elaborate on, and she requested that she be allowed to stay in the US on desk duty until he woke up from his coma. Fun times.)

Kate and Noh glance at each other, and Kate shrugs. Noh turns back to his phone and finds Sif on the contact list. “I’ll call and see if she can do it.”

As it turns out, Sif can, and has in fact been looking for an opportunity to see Loki again, face-to-face. While Kate and Noh had okayed emails and calls between the two, their various schedules have so far precluded more than one real-life meeting between her and Loki. Sif is probably the trustiest option they have left, and unlike the others, Loki has known her longer than he’s known Kate or Noh.

So it’s not surprising to see Sif at their door, though seeing her with a stuffed animal under her arm definitely is. She shoots Noh a quick grin when she sees the way he looks at the toy bird, but doesn’t have time to say anything before Loki notices.

“Ikol!”

He barrels into Sif and grabs the stuffed animal, hugging it to his chest and clinging for dear life. He looks up at Sif in a mixture of confusion and gratitude. “But…”

“I have the keys to your house.” Sif reminds him. “And I remember how much you relied on that bird some days, so I thought it best to get him to you.”

“Uh-huh…” Loki’s eyes drift back down to the bird. “Ikol’s evil, you know.”

“I know.” Sif rolls her eyes.

Noh-Varr holds the door for Kate and gives Sif some last-minute info. “Numbers are on the fridge. Bedtime’s ten on Fridays, and there’s some frozen food in the freezer, so if you don’t feel up to cooking just use that. TV’s got to be rated PG-13 or less. Any questions?”

“None at all.” Sif assures him. “Enjoy yourselves at…?”

“Some Stark Industries office party that’s far more fancy than it should be.” Noh tells her. “Thanks again. Loki, we’ll see you later.”

As he leaves, his mind sees fit to supply him with all the awful things that could happen, but he ignores them. He doesn’t know Sif very well, but he trusts her to have Loki’s best interests in mind.

(As he finds out later, he’s absolutely right in his assessment.)

o.o.o.o.o

Loki talks to the stuffed magpie that is Ikol. Kate isn’t sure where they first got it (maybe a gift shop at a national park?), but ever since Sif brought it over, Loki’s refused to let it go when they’re in the apartment. They thankfully leave Ikol behind when going to school or activities, which Kate is relieved to know; the teasing that would result from taking Ikol to school would have a profoundly negative effect on Loki, she’s sure.

School is… Kate doesn’t know what to think of Loki’s school activities. Loki is good at school. They’re smart as a whip, but frequently just far too lazy or scatter-brained to get bumped up a year or two the way they should be. But Loki’s grades are good enough for Kate to never need to worry about that, at least. It gives her much more room to worry about Loki’s lack of social life and mental illnesses, at least.

(The psych appointments seem to be going well. Dr. Jones is nice and seems to be good at her job, so Kate’s satisfied. Mostly.)

After all the worry about Loki’s very small amount of friends (limited to Cassie and Molly, both of whom Kate introduced them to, and people outside Loki’s age group, and two online friends that Loki’s known for years), Kate’s relieved when they ask if they can bring a friend home during a dinner with just the two of them one night.

“Sure.” She agrees easily. “Just make sure it fits into our schedules.”

“Okay.” Loki looks down at their food for a few seconds. “I… I think you will like her. She is very… aggressive, but she mostly only fights the bullies that pick on kids in our class, and we sat together at lunch a few times.”

Kate’s mind catches on the word ‘bullies,’ but she figures that’s a conversation that can wait for a time it won’t spoil an otherwise nice and fairly important conversation.

“What’s her name?”

“America Chavez. She speaks Spanish.” Loki seems to find this impressive, which amuses Kate to no end.

“And you speak Norwegian.” She reminds them.

“Yes, but when she speaks Spanish, it’s very pretty.” Loki pauses. “It’s also still a bit scary, but that’s okay.”

Kate can’t imagine what it is that the kids are going to talk about, since America doesn’t exactly sound like the DnD type, but stranger things have happened, and it’s not like a lack of shared interests prevents Loki from talking to Cassie or Molly.

“Well, you can bring her over on Tuesday or Friday.” Kate says, just as the front door opens and they hear Noh come in.

“Hello, sweetie.” Noh says as he comes in, a hint of a joke in his tone. He kisses Kate as he passes by her to drop his things off in his work room, and ruffles Loki’s hair on the way.

“Hey, Space Boy.” Kate rolls her eyes, but she can’t keep the smile off her face. God, they’re disgusting, aren’t they?

“Anything interesting happen today?” Noh asks as he sits down at the table and ladles some mashed potatoes onto a plate.

“Not for me, but Loki’s planning on bringing a friend over soon.” Kate catches the momentary, quickly smothered surprise on Noh’s face. It’s the happy kind of surprise, but that doesn’t change the fact that they shouldn’t show it in front of Loki.

“That sounds like it’ll be fun.” Noh says, and the conversation proceeds from there in a manner much like Loki’s conversation with Kate did.

When America shows up with Loki a few days later, Kate is struck by just how much America-themed clothing the girl is wearing.

Kate also finds it amusing that America is a good four inches taller than Loki, and seems to have the muscles of a schoolyard brawler. No wonder she’s been good at fighting off Loki’s bullies.

“Um… hi.” America gives her a short wave. “You must be Kate.”

“Yep, that’s me.” Kate steps back and lets the kids in. “And you’re America.”

“Yeah, I am.” The girl looks ready for a fight, as though she’s expecting Kate to mock her name.

“Nice shoes,” Kate says instead, because the scuffed red boots really are pretty nice, especially for a young teenager like America. Loki’s looking nervously between the two of them, as though worried that if they don’t get along, Kate will ban America from coming back.

“Thanks.” America says, still tensed like she’s expecting an innocently insensitive comment from Kate.

“Well, you two can use the kitchen table for your homework and then hang out afterwards.” Kate remembers her parents referring to it as ‘play’ when she was Loki and America’s age.

She remembers being really annoyed at it, too.

Kate has her own work to do while the kids do theirs, so she stays at the kitchen table too. The case files are all in small text, and she sits on the other end of the table, so she doesn’t have to worry about either of them catching sight of a particularly gruesome photo or reading a description of the murder method over her shoulder.

They also argue. A lot. America’s got a basic level of understanding when it comes to most of her schoolwork, but Loki’s gone the extra mile and learned most of it in-depth to a level that (pretty obviously) irritates America to an almost amusing extent. So Loki starts lecturing while they work on their history homework about why the textbook isn’t wrong per se, but the causes of World War I were a lot more complicated than that.

America doesn’t seem to care all that much. “Just do what you need to do for the class and we can go do other stuff, chico.”

Kate finds their arguments funny, because they clearly aren’t going to start hating one another based on an argument about their history homework, but the amount of frustration born from the clashing of America’s “just get it over with” philosophy and Loki’s “look up every interesting thing regarding this and get lost in Wikipedia for a while” philosophy is… honestly, it’s hilarious.

Not that she tells them that.

o.o.o.o.o

Noh-Varr is the one that’s home when Loki brings another friend home. The girl is actually smaller than Loki, with bright red hair and glasses. She seems to have a perpetual frown on her face, and reacts with disgust to the suggestion of watching TV.

“It’s just lies,” she tells him.

Well, she’s not wrong. Technically.

Verity’s stranger than America, but her interests fall more in line with Loki’s, and Noh can hear them play-acting some fantasy board game all the way from the music room.

It’s a nicer thing to hear than what happens the next time Loki visits a friend.

Loki is unfortunate. They’ve seen a lot of death in their time, and blame themselves for some of it. So when they visit the graveyard, it isn’t just Odin and Freyja that Loki visits.

“Hey, Leah.” Loki sits down on the grass in front of the small, small grave, and Noh stays back a respectful distance. “Sorry about skipping the visit last week. My foster parents were busy.”

She hugs her knees and pauses, as though waiting for an answer that will never come. “I made some friends, by the way. I know you said I’m too annoying to ever have friends other than you, so ha ha. I made friends all by myself.”

Loki stuck her tongue out at the gravestone. “You’d like them, I think. Probably Verity more than America. Verity’s really sarcastic, like you were.”

Noh stands back from Loki, waiting for the young girl to finish. He wants to leave and visit his own family, but they are buried so far away that it isn’t really an option.

So very far away.

He stays lost in thought, preoccupied by the memories of a country he can’t return to, until he gets dragged back to Earth by the feeling of Loki tugging on his hand.

“I’m ready to go.” There’s a hiccup in her voice and a wet shine in her eyes.

“Okay.” Noh puts a hand on her shoulder and steers her onto the path back to the car. “Do you want me to carry you back?”

“A piggy-back ride, you mean?”

“Yep.”

“Okay.”

o.o.o.o.o

“STOP IT!”

Kate launches away from her desk, gun in hand, before her brain even processes what just happened. She almost kicks down Loki’s door in an attempt to get to him, and is relieved to see that the gun is apparently unneeded. She clicks the safety on, removes the ammo, and stows it back into its holster. She does not try to move close to Loki.

Loki is curled up on the floor in the corner. He’s babbling, fast and muddled, and almost all of it is Norwegian. Kate doubts that even Sif would be able to translate if she were here, just going by speed and how much Loki’s tripping over his words, and Kate on her own has zero chances of understanding anything that’s going on.

Ikol is on the floor, its wing ripped off. The stuffing is coming out.

“Loki?” Kate whispers, crouching down to be closer to eye level with her foster son. “Loki, honey, look at me.”

He doesn’t.

It’s never been this bad before. Loki’s had breakdowns before, had hallucinations and heavy moments of paranoia, had panic attacks and nightmares and all manner of things that Kate hasn’t always had experience with before.

But it’s never been this bad.

Loki’s never destroyed important things before, or been completely unresponsive to Kate saying his name. He’s argued with people who aren’t there before (and this is an argument, clearly), but not this vehemently, not while screaming with tears running down his face. He’s fisted his hands before, but he’s never used them to tear out his hair by the roots.

“Jeg vinner.” Loki laughs, and Kate’s heart drops out at the hollow sound. He grips his head and moans, swaying from side to side. “Damn meg. Damn dere alle.”

“Loki?” Kate tries again, but… gods, she doesn’t want to try holding him while he’s like this. She remembers her own pa—

Nope.

Not going to think about that.

Kate sits on the floor, cross-legged, waiting for Loki to calm down enough that she can get involved without doing more harm than good. She takes the two halves of Ikol and just wonders to herself for a minute. Loki _loves_ this stuffed animal. Kate isn’t quite sure why the poor thing is so important, but she’s heard Loki talking to it before, about Leah and Verity and America and Cassie and Molly and even, more recently, Jonas. Loki treats the bird like an guide, of all things, as though Ikol is somehow a trustworthy advisor instead of a stuffed animal.

Loki cries out and collapses against the floor.

Kate calls Ms. Jones.

o.o.o.o.o

Loki’s different now.

Noh isn’t sure what happened, though he knows what Kate told him. He was the one that helped Loki burn Ikol to ashes, which they poured out at the foot of Leah’s little grave. Noh still isn’t sure what the point of that was, but Loki refused to explain, so he just mentions it to Ms. Jones the next time he takes Loki in for their appointment (twice a week, now, instead of once).

But it’s there, in the small things. Loki actively antagonizes America now, even if it’s only teasingly, and their friendship with Molly frequently seems to consist primarily of plotting something. They drag Verity around to various exploits that Noh can’t imagine the Loki he knew being quite so invested in. They do card tricks for Cassie with a smirk, and spend five straight hours furiously battling Jonas in some online game. It’s little things, things that Noh would have expected the Loki he’d known to do, but they would have done them with an undercurrent of anxiety and cautiousness, the smiles frequently faked and the teasing a mask.

Had the change been more gradual, Noh would have been happy to see Loki become so much more outgoing and self-confident. But this change is _sudden_ , sudden and a little scary, because it only came after Loki’s… meltdown, for lack of a better word. While there are still nights where Loki regresses to the introverted, insecure child with the awful nightmares, the child that still needs a warm cup of tea or hot chocolate and a long, long hug…

It’s usually like _that_ child has been buried far, far below the rest of the new personality.

But they’re still Loki. They still have the same interests, the same friends and relationships, even the same style, just… a different personality. The core elements are still there, but everything is oddly skewed, and Noh adjusts (he always does), but that doesn’t mean he’s comfortable with it.

(He’s been in too-similar a situation to _ever_ be comfortable with such drastic changes after a breakdown or trauma of some sort.)

This Loki is a quip and a smirk on a pile of random information, not a joke and a grin in the middle of a sea of desperate research. This Loki is bravado and confidence with a haunting depth behind their words, not easily-broken masks and startled flinching and a dead look in their eyes every now and then.

This Loki is older, sneakier, and wants to prove themselves, though to whom or why is a mystery.

And _god_ , does that scare Noh.

o.o.o.o.o

When Sif calls, Kate picks up the phone. She listens, quietly thanks the other woman, and then hangs up with a grim expression on her face.

Kate wants to be happy for Loki. All things considered, this is actually _great_ news.

Instead, she just feels a little pit of dread in her stomach, rolling around and making her feel sick.

“Loki!” She calls, and when she just gets a muffled reply that she can barely hear through the wall, she tries again. “Loki! Get out here!”

He does, though he pauses in the doorway to his room instead of stepping into the hall, crossing his arms and leaning against the doorframe.

(Kate thinks he might have picked up that particular habit from her.)

“So, do you want the good news or the bad news first?” She asks.

Loki quirks an eyebrow (exactly the way she does, huh) and shrugs. “Bad news.”

“You’re going to have to be leaving soon.” Kate pauses, and then quickly follows up with the good news when she sees the medley of emotions (fear, betrayal, pain, anger, sadness) begin to invade Loki’s eyes. “Because Thor just woke up.”

At that, Loki freezes, or at least stiffens a bit while maintaining his earlier position. “…Really?”

“Sif just called from the hospital. They told her first. I’m guessing we’ll hear it through official channels soon, but she thought you ought to know.” Kate smiles, hiding her own disappointment. “If you get ready now, we can go see him.”

“I…” Loki’s arms go from crossed to hugging his elbows; he no longer looks cocky, but more insecure than Kate’s seen him be in a while. “What if he doesn’t…”

Kate knows what this is about. She walks over and puts her hands on Loki’s shoulders, causing him to look up at her with that same fear still in his eyes. “Loki, look at me. He still loves you, even if he’s confused when he wakes up. If he doesn’t approve of the personality change or your gender, I’m pretty sure you can petition to stay with us, or just let Sif take care of it and make him see reason.”

“He doesn’t…” Loki takes a shuddering breath. “Thor’s made… comments, before. About trans people. I don’t… I don’t want him to…”

Kate pulls Loki into a hug, rubbing his back soothingly. “Shh… I promise it’ll be okay, one way or another.”

“But what if it isn’t?” Loki asks. “What if he decides I’m… some sort of _freak_ or…”

“Then I would be happy to punch him for you.” Kate tells him. “But in this particular situation, I really do think Sif is going to be your biggest help. Thor trusts her, from what you’ve told me, and since we already know she approves…”

“She can yell at him. She’s good at that.” Loki laughs.

“So I hear.” Kate sways in place for a bit, and after a few more minutes of the hug (which she doesn’t comment on later), she pats Loki’s back and pulls away. “You wanna go get ready so we can go see your brother?”

“Mm-hm.” Loki slips back into his room, and Kate takes a deep breath.

Thor waking up is a good thing, even if it leaves Loki anxious and leaves her filled with dread.

It’s a good thing.

o.o.o.o.o

Noh meets them at the hospital, and they wait outside of Thor’s room for Sif to finish with what she’s doing. When she comes out, she motions for Loki to go in. “Maybe it’s best if you go alone.”

Loki glances nervously at Kate and Noh, and then takes a deep breath and goes in.

Noh looks at Sif. One of his arms is currently wrapped around Kate’s waist (they both need the contact right now), but the other is free to give the other woman a wave. “Hello.”

A small smile quirks Sif’s lips. “Hello.”

“Such riveting conversation.” Kate deadpans. “Truly, I’m blown away by how interesting I find it.”

“My pleasure.” Sif tells her, and then her smile drops. “I hope you understand that Loki will most like be going back to live with Thor now.”

(They hear some sort of wailing coming from inside Thor’s room, but a glance inside the window shows Loki with his arms wrapped around Thor’s neck, so it seems to be one of pent up emotions and relief rather than something to be worried about.)

“Yeah,” Kate says, and Noh squeezes her waist a bit, a small show of support. “I mean, I hope we can stay in contact and all that, but…”

“It may be rather difficult, yes.” Sif’s face is filled with sympathy, or an approximation of it, at least. Noh doesn’t think she’s all that used to making that particular expression. “I will gladly stay in contact with you, and I have no doubt that you will be seeing Loki at least occasionally, since his social circles now intersect with yours so well.”

“It’s going to be a big change, though.” Noh says, realizing that Kate isn’t going to say anything.

“Will you be fostering any others?” Sif asks. There are low voices coming from the room now, and Noh understands that they need to keep talking, or they will end up eavesdropping on Loki and Thor, and that would be… it’s too personal a moment for eavesdropping to be anything less than a breach of personal trust.

“If they don’t decide we massively fucked up while taking care of Loki, then yes.” Kate answers this time. They haven’t actually talked about it yet, but that’s mostly because they don’t really _need_ to. They both know they’ll be fostering another child after Loki is gone.

(Well, _if_ Loki leaves and lives with Thor, but neither Kate nor Noh is under the impression that Thor will be judged less-than-worthy of taking care of his brother after being discharged from the hospital.)

“I see.” Sif shifts from one foot to the other. “I don’t suppose you’d mind if I took you two out for dinner after Thor is released? That’ll be in at least a few days’ time, but I feel like it would be a good idea.”

“Sounds like a plan,” Noh says.

o.o.o.o.o

By the time Thor is discharged, they have managed to move most of Loki’s things back to his old house, with plenty of help from Sif. There’s a growing sense of dread and anxiety around the apartment, though they work hard to keep it from getting to Loki. The night the hospital finally releases Thor (with strict orders to come back for physical therapy on a set schedule, and with approval from Ms. Gaea for Loki to move back in), they all pile into Noh’s shiny silver and green Corvette and go out to a diner just a few blocks from Thor and Loki’s family home.

(Sif seems unimpressed by their choice in restaurant, but it’s not _their_ fault she doesn’t understand the importance of pancakes and bacon as a comfort food in their lives.)

(It’s complicated.)

Thor is… well, he isn’t _dumb_ , but his interests and skills lie in areas that Kate and Noh don’t really share, so the conversation is stilted. Sif and Loki do their best to keep everyone talking and fill the quiet moments, but there’s only so much they can do.

Noh’s monologue on the influence of the hippie movement on the development of certain branches of rock and roll manages to eat up some time, even if Thor’s eyes glaze over, Loki gets distracted by her food, and Sif only barely seems to be paying attention.

(And if Kate spends the whole thing just smiling indulgently at Noh… well, it’s not like anyone can blame her.)

As the night ends, a tenseness settles into the air. Kate and Noh look at each other, and quickly have a silent conversation. Sif catches the edges of it, if barely.

Loki’s holding Thor’s hand as tightly as possible. Sif slips her arm into Thor’s free one, and Kate drops her arm around Loki’s shoulders, while Noh just takes her hand in his.

“C’mon, kiddo.” Kate says. “I’ll walk you home.”

**Author's Note:**

> A few details that I didn't have much room to include:
> 
> \- The entire Ikol-destruction scene was meant to evoke the ending of Journey Into Mystery. There are references to Ikol and his role in Loki's life throughout the fic.
> 
> \- Sif and Thor's relationship constantly swings between "might actually be in love" and "kickass friends with benefits." They mostly got engaged because it meant that they could (in the context of this universe that is similar but not entirely identical to ours) make decisions on one another's behalf.
> 
> \- Loki's usually a straight-A student, but ends up getting bad grades in PE.
> 
> \- Verity and Loki didn't meet a school, but at a playground when they were learning to roller-skate from Molly and crashed into her by accident.
> 
> \- Molly lives with Nico, who petitioned for guardianship as soon as she was old enough (since Chase couldn't due to his criminal record). The Runaways' backstory is much like their canon one, but with bigger age gaps and no powers (and less dead people).
> 
> \- Noh and Kate's backstories involve significant time involved in taking down an illegal medical experimentation facility when they were seventeen, about a year after Noh first escaped it (and got caught up in some criminal activity to keep himself alive). Due to the police in that area being either paid off or killed when they tried to get help, they took it down themselves.
> 
> \- Noh was actually in the Witness Protection Program for a while after that, living with Carol Danvers, while Kate met Clint and started training on that front. No one really knows what Clint's day job is.
> 
> \- (His job is being the landlord of his building, but somehow people don't understand that.)
> 
> \- Jessica Jones is Loki's therapist.
> 
> \- Noh is actually one of Tony's favorite employees, but good luck getting anyone to believe that. (That said, Stark Industries is the one paying for Noh's Master's degree.) Noh's the main reason that SI's space program is so far along now.
> 
> \- Billy's a psychologist like his mom, and Teddy's an English teacher and a volunteer firefighter. Tommy's doing pizza delivery while he works on his law degree, and David's a programmer at SI with Noh.
> 
> \- Kate can't cook. Or bake. Or make food in general. At all. That's why all the references to someone making dinner are Noh's.
> 
> \- Noh and Kate kept their own names when they got married.
> 
> \- Noh and Scott are friends and honestly I'm not sure why.
> 
> \- There are a lot of dumb jokes made about the name of Nico's store. She just rolls her eyes and threatens to hex them.
> 
> \- Also worth mentioning is that Nico is somewhere on the aromantic spectrum, and so is Kate (Kate's demiromantic, specifically). Nico and Victor are trying to make things work, but it's weird.
> 
> \- Also, Noh and David and Victor all have science friendship sessions. Cassie and Jonas have crashed their meetings at least half a dozen times. Because science.


End file.
